Difficult in deciding

Hi there,
As it seems to be the case I too am looking for a “new home”, for mum - I have two in mind - Bupa Templestowe and the new Bluecross in Ivanhoe. I have tried Assisi however being of Italian background there is no way that Assisi can take her - too many out there trying to get in. All those boats in the 50’s coming from Europe.
So the two that I feel tick most of the boxes are the ones I have stated above.
Is there anyone out there that can give me their thoughts on the two that I have mentioned? What is Bupa like and what is Bluecross like? The Bluecross facility is new (opened in May), so cannot find any reviews.
Mum has moderate dementia and loves her walks and garden this is a priority for me, but so is the Italian language Bupa has the language and possibly garden, Ivanhoe has a magnificent garden and large garden but not the language. However saying this Ivanhoe is so new they only have 3 people in the memory unit it has capacity to hold 16, so you don’t know what is around the corner as far as staffing goes.
I have a heap of other questions that I will be asking based on your very informative website - but I obviously after a caring and inclusive place, along with flexibility.
One thing struck me is when I mentioned mum wasn’t a morning person she generally gets up around 10.00am at the moment - both places said this was fine…
Hmm I have since spoken to several people who have indicated that’s not true there is a regiment and 10.00am won’t suit their time table…So what do people think about this? Has anyone experienced anything like this?
Have so many more questions to ask…
Thanks everyone!
Can anyone shed any light on my painful decision???

Hi Mara,
Having gone through this journey with my own mum I know how difficult it is both on an emotional and financial level. Dont put too much emphasis on the physical environs. As long as the home is clean and well maintained with nutritious meals it is so much more about the level of care - the approach by manager and staff. Respecting our loved ones as individuals with specific needs. Also from my experience it can take several weeks for residents to become familiar with their new environment so dont be surprised if your mother is unsettled for a period of time. Hopefully you will both be happy with your choice. Kind regards.

Hi Jill,
Thankyou so much for your opinion - I have had to make a decision and I did most of the things that you have mentioned - the meals are ok - not 5 star or anything, but fortunately mum isn’t too fussy and I will definitely be bringing in my own stuff. The staff seems to be caring but only time will tell - we placed her in Bupa Templestowe limited space else where in fact nil. We did had another choice in this beautiful 5 star BlueCross place - however it was alot more expensive and there was the language problem. I hope that I have made the right decision - I have yelled out that I am never doing this again…such a painful and awful process…mum would have hated it!!! Power to those who have the knowledge and are in the research area trying to find a cure for this awful disease dementia etc… such a painful journey, and all we can do is stand by and watch people disappear before your very eyes. I believe this is only going to get worse - what a nightmare…

Hi Mara,Having worked as a Physiotherapist in aged care homes in NSW for 13 years I definately agree that having Italian spoken by care staff would be of great benefit. It can be very isolating for residents if they have a language barrier with the staff who are caring for them and the other residents.From my experience some residents prefer to have their breakfast in their room rather than the dining room and some residents (my mother included) do not feel the need to join in social activities. Whilst attendance at activities should be offered to all residents there is no compunction for participation.Having a garden to walk in is good on many levels ie exercise, Vitamin D and psychologically.I always advise family to visit the Aged Care homes they are considering and spend time sitting in and observing at meals and activities. Also meet with the care staff and the Manager who is integral"success"of the home. Have a chat with some of the other residents. You will soon get a “feel” for the place and whether this is a good fit for your mother.Talk to the Manager about your mother’s preference for a later start in the mornings. Care staff work to schedules around meals and showers etc but it may be possible that they can leave your mother to the end of the “list” to accommodate her needs around showering, dressing etc.RegardsJill

Hi Mara,We can’t comment on the specific facilities but a point to consider would be that in some cases people with dementiawill revert back to their first language as the dementia progresses.That would probably make the Bupa facility a slightly stronger choice given the l

Hi Budger,Thankyou for your reply - 1st problem - mum doesn’t do breakfast and never has, just latte and biscuits.2nd problem - she doesn’t do dressing gowns and never has etc.3rd problem - she is very very private and doesn’t participate in actives with any enthusiasm, she prefers her garden walks and maybe a chat. It’s going to be very difficult…That’s why I need flexiability - not sure if there is any such thing out there? “bouquet” place?Thanks again

Usually breakfast is 8 but you would need to check if they allow dressing gowns then they can go back to their room. Also I think they may need a morning pill so they would need to have had breakfast… Check what social activities are included and what you have to pay as extra as an additional fee. Maybe go to a social actvity at both and see how the staff interact. I think that a warm caring environment would win first and the ability to speak italian second. My mother loved speaking Russian and Polish I think that would keep her mind active. See if the facility offers outside walks and excursions also.